Something new to share – WIPpet Wednesday

Before I get started, I want to thank S.L. Schwengel for giving us the opportunity to talk about our WIP’s every week, and build a support network.

I want to start with a quick update on my ROW80 progress first – otherwise my snippet won’t make sense!

Blogging: Writing Room 101 – I’ve prepared a few posts for the author spotlight section, but still need to work on the format for the site. Later this week there will be a special feature, but you’ll just have to wait until then – you’ll get no spoilers in this post J I haven’t done my weekly Lance Legion post, but I will. He’s following me around, and using my guilt against me – I’ve neglected him of late.

Writing: I’m 2,500 words into my 8,000 per week goal. I haven’t come up with a title yet, for my current WIP.

Editing: I’ve edited a few pages of Fractured, and my inner editor is brutal. So, the less said about that the better!


I finally let go of The Fifth Watcher and sent it to my beta-readers. You were all a great source of encouragement during the past few weeks, so thanks again for all your support.

I’ve already mentioned that Lance has been pretty vocal recently. What I haven’t said (but you can probably guess), is that he’s not the only one vying for attention. Obadiah is driving me quite mad, seriously, that man is loud! I swear I hear a constant buzzing in my ears, or maybe that’s tinnitus – I should maybe get it checked out J

Anyway, due to the fact I’m tearing apart Fractured, piece by piece, and I’ve nothing worthy to bring to you right now. I’ve decided to share Obadiah with you. I started bits and pieces of the sequel to Fractured (as you do), because, well, the buzzing. I’ve been working on a scene this morning, and I can’t remember if I’ve shared some of this with you before. Apologies in advance, if I have.

Here are ten paragraphs (for the month), of Obadiah’s introduction to our world:

“Holy shit!” Obadiah slammed into the concrete with enough force to break a dozen newly formed bones. He was as weak as a kitten and he didn’t have a taste for it, or the blood filling his mouth. His power would not return until he’d been through the transition, which meant he was bound to the restrictions of his human body.

And the pain, dear god but it hurt like a bitch. He was a helpless as a new-born, and in some respects that’s what he was.

He spat a wad of blood onto the pavement, surprised he had the energy. Not that it would do a damn bit of good against his enemies; he could barely turn his head.

When he did manage a better view, he caught a glint of steel. It took him a moment to realise the metal covered a toe-capped boot.

A boot which slammed into his shoulder before he could process the new information. He had even less time to be thankful it wasn’t his skull, because the pain stole his breath. The demon attached to those fancy boots didn’t let up. He kicked him again, this time in the ribs.

By then, Obadiah was clenching his jaw so tight he couldn’t be sure which bone cracked. He was only conscious of the sound, followed by a white, hot blast of misery.


He registered a new voice in his foggy brain. It ricocheted off the walls of the alley like the crack of a whip.

“Fuck off,” one half of his welcoming committee said gruffly, the foot not missing a beat.

For a moment, when all he could hear was the crunch of his own bones caving under the onslaught, he thought the bastards had broken him. Where else would the howl be coming from, if not from him? Then it registered, the pathetic whimpering came from the scum-in-boots. A noise so undignified he was almost embarrassed for him, and probably would be, if not for the fact he wanted to hurt him too.

Hope you enjoyed it and thanks, as always, for reading.


29 thoughts on “Something new to share – WIPpet Wednesday

  1. Mishka Jenkins says:

    Another brilliant snippet. A powerful scene, but you really draw people into what he’s going through! Seems an accurate welcome to our world, humans are not always so nice! 😀

    Also, this, ‘I started bits and pieces of the sequel to Fractured (as you do), because, well, the buzzing.’ I think every writer can relate to that feeling!

    1. mbarkersimpson says:

      Thank you, Mishka. This particular welcoming party are demons, but I totally agree – the world can often be a dark place. I appreciate your kind words, and am glad the scene drew you in.

      As for relating – absolutely. That’s what makes all this so great. We’re really not alone 🙂

      1. Mishka Jenkins says:

        Says a lot about humanity when I can get demons and humans confused on the way they act! 😀 Still, it was your writing that showed the actions well enough for me to see it so clearly in my head!

  2. kathils says:

    Excellent. You did my favorite thing, sunk me in the character’s skin completely. Not very pleasant at the moment, but well done.

  3. sirenarobinson says:

    So, here’s my one little bit of criticism. I don’t think you can have a wad of blood. Wad to me is like paper or tobacco, something that isn’t liquid.

    Moving on. I loved the excerpt. Obadiah is great and he’s already growing on me. I was reading the first bit before the excerpt and I’m thinking ‘is she writing Amish fiction now?’ because that’s what Obadiah sounds like to me. Then, you open with ‘Holy shit’ and it’s nope, not Amish. I was completely immersed in him, and I’m a sucker for demon tales because, well, I write them myself. Can’t wait to see more!

    1. mbarkersimpson says:

      lol – nope…not Amish 🙂 Thanks for the advice about the wad – I never thought of it. But I suppose that’s why we have each other – to pick these things up. I’m glad you like Obadiah. I have a soft spot for him!

  4. Alana Terry says:

    I think it would be so horrifically frustrating to be an adult (or something of the sort) and have to learn to use a body from scratch. Good job showing his frustrations here.

  5. Amy says:

    Ooh, well something certainly just happened to scum-in-boots (I love that nickname, btw). Poor Obadiah, though–that all sounds horribly painful. I’m also intrigued by the part about him having to put up with the limitations of his human body. Interesting all around.

    1. mbarkersimpson says:

      Thanks, Amy 🙂 Scum-in-boots got exactly what he deserved! He met my witch and she doesn’t suffer fools gladly…or demons for that matter! I’ll share her part with you all next time. Thanks again.

  6. rachelalsowrites says:

    POMPOMS! CARROT STICKS! CHOCOLATE!! Great progress so far! Inner editors can be brutal, but it’s usually for the best (unless you’re editing a friend’s essay and they didn’t quite expect you to be so brutal…).

    I loved the WIPpet as well! I really felt for poor Obadiah, that sounded like it hurt! 😦

  7. Adrian says:

    yay for goals and getting them going! Keep them going! =P

    I love when muses/characters won’t shut up. Usually means a lot gets done. This is a great excerpt. I love the name Obadiah, and it seems to fit the character…going back to a place/time before there were all the fancies. When being human was simply human without any improvements. If that makes any sense at all. =P

    1. mbarkersimpson says:

      Thanks for the cheer 🙂 It keeps me going! I love when they won’t shut up too (most of the time) – it keeps me on my toes…never a dull moment! I don’t know where the name came from, but Obadiah suits him – I’m glad you like it.

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